community.

Where do I even begin?

For the past eleven weeks, I have been happier and more joyful and light hearted than I can ever remember being in the last five years.

Eleven. Whole. Uninterrupted. Weeks.
I honestly never thought it possible.


I've started and restarted this blog about a thousand times. There are simply no words that accurately describe what is on my heart. They are feelings so unfamiliar and so intangible that I struggle to even understand them, much less share them. No language has the capacity to explain something so divine.

In this community, I was healed and restored.
In this community, I experienced the smallest taste of what heaven has in store.
In this community, the Kingdom of God was brought to earth.

There are so many things I miss about camp. I miss lounging in the shade of the boat beach, under blue skies with billowing white clouds, listening to the splashes of happy campers leaping from dock to water in fits of squealing laughter. I miss the echoing Rec Room, with its walls and chalkboard always slick with perspiration in even the tiniest hint of humidity; the safe haven and cool shelter from the hottest of days and worst of storms. I miss gathering every Friday afternoon as a staff to swap stories and share a meal together, to breathe that sigh of relief after a long and challenging week. I miss weekends of dance parties and hypnotism in the chapel, Wi-Fi gatherings in the dining hall and movies in the staff lounge. I miss nights of sticky s'mores and campfire songs and staying up far too late for no other reason than to get to know one another better.

But more than anything, I miss the summer staff. I miss the playful banter we would toss back and forth at every chance encounter we had during the day. I miss the counselor jokes, the goofy faces and voices, the skits and crazy costumes, the endless amount of hugs, the unequivocal acceptance we all had for one another. I miss being able to enjoy the strengths of my fellow staff members. I miss sharing in their struggles and their joys. I miss the prayer circles before and after every worship. I miss the love and support that was so evident within our staff on a daily basis, and even more, the acknowledgment of that love and support. I miss the comfort I felt around all of them, the fact that I never had to fear judgment or a "strings attached" attitude. We were one body, one heart, and one voice. And we still are. It is Christ's love that runs through our community and it is by his power that we are bonded together. The connections we've made go far beyond just the camp season. It's comforting to know that they will be there if I ever need them, to be my strength when I have none. Each one of them holds a piece of my heart.

The relationships I formed at Luther Point this summer are unlike any I've ever experienced. They go beyond simple friendship, into something so much deeper and fuller. The feeling of being so completely loved and valued brings me to my knees. They fill a place in my heart that I never knew was empty.

I know that I belong in this group. And that is a knowledge that is so transforming. Within the first three weeks, I could feel a change in my attitude-- towards myself, towards others and towards the world. I began to rest, actually rest, in God. I became more confident in my abilities. I felt things more deeply. I began to see the beauty in everything, and allowed myself to feel the power and love from God that had always surrounded me.

This summer was just what I needed, and God knew that. Every moment was lined up so that I could learn to let go. Let go of my hurts, let go of my doubts and fears, let go of my need for control, let go of my insecurities. In order to rebuild, walls must be broken down and a new foundation must be established. And what better place to begin rebuilding than LPBC, where life is profoundly simple and my biggest worry is wondering when I will find time to shower.

I have been blessed with an incredible amount of community in the last six months. First in InterVarsity, and now at Luther Point. Coming out of a first semester of darkness and isolation last fall, I think God has been trying to speak something true to me about just how important community is, and how restorative it can be when I allow it to interrupt my isolation. It's like light scattering darkness.

When we live our lives alone and separated from others, we invite lies. We begin to believe things about ourselves that would never survive if we lived in loving community, with people and with Jesus. But instead, these beliefs mutate and multiply, working their roots down deep into our identities until we lose track of who we were before. The darkness becomes more comfortable than the light, because the light exposes all of our dirt and shame. Soon, as Frederick Buechner says, we become "more than half in love with our own destruction."

It's only when we expose things to the light-- step out of isolation and back into the community that God intended us to have with each other-- only then that we can heal.

"For the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." -John 1:5

Satan fears the power of community and its ability to restore order to the havoc that he wreaks. He has no control over it and that terrifies him. And let me tell you: I love terrifying the devil. There is so much more strength in community than I ever imagined. We were CREATED for community. We were MADE for relationship. It only took me 18 years to figure out why.

***

On our final night together, we gathered for one last meal and worship. I expected it to be emotional, but nothing could have prepared me for what we experienced together.

Kwaheri Evening: Saying Goodbye

Banquet

We sang our staff song together after dinner, and I couldn't hold it together. I was overwhelmed with grief and joy. I thought that was enough. I was ready to pack it in and go jump in the lake to hide my blubbering. If only I could have been so invulnerable...

After we'd taken several hundred thousand last banquet pictures together, we made our way back to our cabins to change and then headed to the chapel for a closing worship. When I walked in, everyone was seated on the floor in a circle around a few candles, a loaf of bread, and a cup of wine.

Really? Crying. Done.

I couldn't believe the summer was over. It had slipped away from me like water through my fingers. It didn't feel nearly long enough. There seemed like so much more I still had left to do, things to learn, people to get to know better.

We sang a few songs together and then we all gathered in one giant hug with 80 arms around each other to pray. I remember wanting so badly to pray aloud, but not being able to find the words. Sometimes, there just are no words. So I joined the chorus of sniffles and just prayed silently, listening to those brave enough to voice their thoughts.

I could live in that moment forever.

We closed our prayer and found our places back in the circle for one last song. I think most of us expected to hear those opening chords of Your Love is Strong but it didn't make the song any less powerful. My heart just about broke for a million emotions when I heard it. It was that song that brought us together at the beginning of the summer. Within one verse, we had our arms around each other again, and by verse two we'd reigned in the stragglers (including Jesse Weiss) and made one complete and unbroken circle. By this time, I was no longer really singing but gasping for air between sobs and sort of shouting the words with everyone else. I was crying and laughing and singing and choking and completely worshiping. Like maybe more than I've ever worshipped before. I was outside of myself, praising Jesus for this beautiful family he'd given me that three months ago had been strangers, and now were some of my best friends. Singing that song that holds so much meaning, in that circle with those people that mean so much to me... that night is in my top 3 favorite life moments. Maybe even my number one. I will never forget it as long as I live.

Afterwards, we said our goodbyes.

I went straight to Holly and fell into a hug. We cried and laughed and cried while laughing and laughed while crying. I never wanted our time all together that night to end. After many hugs and many more tears, the night began to wind down until only a few of us were left lying on the stage together, tired and dehydrated.

No kidding.

***

I was a little surprised that I wasn't more sad to leave camp this summer. It's not that I'm not sad: believe me, I am. As a camper, heading home from camp was the worst part of my summer. I expected this to be exponentially harder, if not one of the hardest transitions of my life. Like Nicole said, "The only thing worse than this day would be my spouse cheating on me."

Extreme. But you get the idea. We all felt that leaving this community behind would be like abandoning a piece of our hearts. And it was tough, for sure. So far, though, I've had only one night of tearful restlessness. No deep anguish, no bottomless pit of despair, no insatiable loneliness.

But at the same time, it's no wonder. I am leaving one incredible community to rejoin another at school. And one just as filled with the Holy Spirit as Luther Point is. This summer was one of the best of my life. I may never have another like it, but that's okay. If the next summer were to be the same, with the same staff and the same memories, it would lose its value to me. I am sad to see these warm days tumbling away into history, and I am aching to be back with everyone, in that place that I fell in love with... but I know that whenever I am reminded of this summer, I will also be reminded of the relationships and experiences that remain, and the community of people that continues to live far beyond the camp season.

If we never left Luther Point,

if we kept this joy only for ourselves and never shared it with the world...

we would be failing.

It's our job now to be sent out to scatter the darkness in our own individual communities. We have been commissioned for service.

If God is for us, who could stand against us?

Go in peace to love and serve the Lord.

"I've got confidence-- my Lord's gonna see me through. Whatever the case may be, my Lord's gonna shelter me."

Bre Larson                         Briana Berthiaume

Adam Reinke                    Joel Menk

Kayla Weiss                       Alex Bussewitz

Leah Schminkey               Mary Maiden Mueller

Kristen Olson                     Tom Mork

Liz Bowman                       Nicole Berry

Erik Carlson                       Nickers Lindquist

Erik Linn-Molin                  Diane Pottratz

Adam Hendren                  Josh Rice

Amy Ausen                         Rachel Hanson

Amy Hughes                       Emily Schroeder

Ashley Ellis                         Sarah Haley

Ashley Hammero               Jeanette Perrault

Sam Kolbow                        Alaina Heiskary

Ben Tolzmann                    John Head

Aaron Good                        Holly Stoner

Kaitie Kautz                         Matthew Swenson

Morgan Talbot                    Anna Morris

Kaitlyn Bredeson               Christine Wagner

Brita Gilyard                        ...and Jesse Weiss :)

                           I love you all.